service packs for people
so today i was in a meeting and i had a thought...
what if there were service packs for people? we could plug in our brain at night and it would download while we slept. you want to quit smoking, lose 50 pounds, learn to read? well F N A do i have a solution for you!!! SERVICE PACKS for people!
imagine the possibilities!
i ran this past a co-worker and he reminded me that every time you install a service pack, it screws something else up. /sigh. so.. you quit smoking, but you start to lose your hearing. or you drop that 50 pounds, but all of a sudden you have an insane craving to eat dog poo every saturday night at 9:13...or every time you hear a barry manilow song. yay! just as you celebrate your literacy, you find your bowels are completely uncontrollable... at the worst moment ever. like when your in-laws are over... or when you are in a meeting with your boss.
you get my point.
wouldn't this be a great prank to play on people you hate? or even people you love? like your man... you could hack into his service pack and "program" him. program your kids to talk back less and clean their rooms more! program your boss right before your annual review! program your parents before christmas! (dear mom... your daughter really really needs an iPod) program that skinny successful bitch you know to gain weight, grow some big-ass zits and lose her cash cow job.
well, this idea started out with the best of intentions... and you can see that my cynicism and dark side have taken over. i could use a new service pack, me thinks...
i still think it was a good idea.
what if there were service packs for people? we could plug in our brain at night and it would download while we slept. you want to quit smoking, lose 50 pounds, learn to read? well F N A do i have a solution for you!!! SERVICE PACKS for people!
imagine the possibilities!
i ran this past a co-worker and he reminded me that every time you install a service pack, it screws something else up. /sigh. so.. you quit smoking, but you start to lose your hearing. or you drop that 50 pounds, but all of a sudden you have an insane craving to eat dog poo every saturday night at 9:13...or every time you hear a barry manilow song. yay! just as you celebrate your literacy, you find your bowels are completely uncontrollable... at the worst moment ever. like when your in-laws are over... or when you are in a meeting with your boss.
you get my point.
wouldn't this be a great prank to play on people you hate? or even people you love? like your man... you could hack into his service pack and "program" him. program your kids to talk back less and clean their rooms more! program your boss right before your annual review! program your parents before christmas! (dear mom... your daughter really really needs an iPod) program that skinny successful bitch you know to gain weight, grow some big-ass zits and lose her cash cow job.
well, this idea started out with the best of intentions... and you can see that my cynicism and dark side have taken over. i could use a new service pack, me thinks...
i still think it was a good idea.
eloquently composed by jess at 3:36 PM
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