My ass yearns to be seen
or something of the like. I'm not sure exactly what is going on with it but maybe all this running/biking is making my ass look fabulous and it wants to be seen by all. I say this because of 2 recent side-splitting (ahem... pants ripping) events.
If only I had pictures, this post would be SOOOO much better and my ass's dream would be realized.
EVENT 1-
Tom and I are hiking north of Pike's Peak (maybe you've heard of it?) which culminates in a glacial cirque (are there any other kind?). After a difficult but exhilarating hike through the snow and up the glacial valley we get to the "top" and decide to wander around for awhile and have a few beers.
As the sun began to wane, we decided it was time to head for the bottom of the hill and so started searching for the elusive 'best way down.' I decided to head down at a certain spot that seemed quite promising. All was well until I stepped on a gently sloping (about 10 degrees) slab of wet Pike's Peak Granite. I'm sure you can guess what happened next... I slipped and slid on my ass down the final 10 ft of this slab.
I almost lost 1/2 of my shorts! The rip was that big! Ok, I exaggerate, slightly. But the ripped flap, held open, showed the world my ass. And we had a 6 mile hike back down to the train stop... and LOTS of people who would ALL see my ass!
Luckily, I have a great guy who remedied the situation by lending me his boxer shorts to cover the ass.
You should've seen the customer service guy's face at REI when I returned the shorts (they were new, damnit!) when I told him how they ripped. He was trying really hard not to laugh but didn't succeed very well.
EVENT 2-
I'm out in the field earlier this week, and it's HOT, methinks it was approximately 99 degrees. I squat down to open up a well head and RRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP!
I thought, to myself, did my pants just effing rip?
And then I felt the breeze on my ass. I quickly stood up and must've had this 'HOLY SHIT MY ASS IS HANGING OUT' look on my face because the guy I was working with knew, immediately, what had happened.
He was almost rolling on the ground laughing, as he should. And then, after almost composing himself, asked if my shirt was long enough to cover the rip.
It wasn't.
So he lent me his shirt (he had 2 on) which was a bit longer than mine. And then continued to make jokes and laugh (as he should). Luckily for me (again) I had a spare pair of pants in my car.
When I switched out the pants and was able to SEE the rip, I about cried, I was laughing so hard. The rip was about 8 inches long and went all the way to the waist hem!
The best part... I was, of course, wearing very revealing panties (read: g-string).
If only I had pictures, this post would be SOOOO much better and my ass's dream would be realized.
EVENT 1-
Tom and I are hiking north of Pike's Peak (maybe you've heard of it?) which culminates in a glacial cirque (are there any other kind?). After a difficult but exhilarating hike through the snow and up the glacial valley we get to the "top" and decide to wander around for awhile and have a few beers.
As the sun began to wane, we decided it was time to head for the bottom of the hill and so started searching for the elusive 'best way down.' I decided to head down at a certain spot that seemed quite promising. All was well until I stepped on a gently sloping (about 10 degrees) slab of wet Pike's Peak Granite. I'm sure you can guess what happened next... I slipped and slid on my ass down the final 10 ft of this slab.
I almost lost 1/2 of my shorts! The rip was that big! Ok, I exaggerate, slightly. But the ripped flap, held open, showed the world my ass. And we had a 6 mile hike back down to the train stop... and LOTS of people who would ALL see my ass!
Luckily, I have a great guy who remedied the situation by lending me his boxer shorts to cover the ass.
You should've seen the customer service guy's face at REI when I returned the shorts (they were new, damnit!) when I told him how they ripped. He was trying really hard not to laugh but didn't succeed very well.
EVENT 2-
I'm out in the field earlier this week, and it's HOT, methinks it was approximately 99 degrees. I squat down to open up a well head and RRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP!
I thought, to myself, did my pants just effing rip?
And then I felt the breeze on my ass. I quickly stood up and must've had this 'HOLY SHIT MY ASS IS HANGING OUT' look on my face because the guy I was working with knew, immediately, what had happened.
He was almost rolling on the ground laughing, as he should. And then, after almost composing himself, asked if my shirt was long enough to cover the rip.
It wasn't.
So he lent me his shirt (he had 2 on) which was a bit longer than mine. And then continued to make jokes and laugh (as he should). Luckily for me (again) I had a spare pair of pants in my car.
When I switched out the pants and was able to SEE the rip, I about cried, I was laughing so hard. The rip was about 8 inches long and went all the way to the waist hem!
The best part... I was, of course, wearing very revealing panties (read: g-string).
eloquently composed by Al at 4:35 PM
2 Comments:
but it seems, based on the swimming records from 13 years ago, that the SVHS graduate pool of intelligence is waning.
ROFL
This happened TWICE?
LOL
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