coast to coast

i am a talk radio junkie. it's the first thing i turn on in the morning. i listen to it on the way to work. sometimes i listen to it at work. on the way home...it's talk radio. and when the insomnia kicks in and nothing is on tv and my eyes are too tired to read...it's talk radio!

one of my favorite programs is coast to coast am with george noory. i first started listening to coast to coast when i worked swing shift. it made the long ride home seem much shorter. back then it was hosted by art bell (who i understand has retired yet again...bah) and guest hosted regularly by noory. topics cover a wide range and can probably be best described as paranormal. peculiar news, conspiracy theories and listener's calls are the highlights of the show. they talk about numerology, psychic stuff, NASA and planets. perfect late night fodder!

now that i have a real job...i don't listen to coast to coast as often, but talk radio has me hooked, line and sinker. i am hopelessly addicted to media...i love reading news both in the paper and online. i am upset when i miss abc news at the top of the hour. my addiction to the media stems from college, where i majored in journalism. college is where i learned to write and i think they taught me well. my favorite professor was dr. sweeney, the ap style guru. his copy editing and design class was probably my favorite journalism class. he'd probably cringe at my lack of proper title case, but whatever. :)

why did i choose journalism? honestly, i was inspired by ari fleischer, former press secretary for george w. bush. i saw him on television...and i thought, "hey! i could do that!" i did a bit of quick research and decided i should major in public relations so i could be a future press secretary. not that i thought ari was anything particularly worth writing home about, but i liked his speaking style and i thought he was a very smart dude. ari, if you ever read this, you inspired me to return to college and actually settle on a major. thanks, pal.

i am sorely off topic. back to talk radio...paul harvey...should probably retire. he was old when i was a kid, and let's face it...i ain't a kid any more! i used to enjoy rush limbaugh, but rarely catch his show now. my relationship with dr. laura is love/hate. sometimes she is soooo right...and sometimes she is such a crazy wrong bitch.

for the drive home...i tune in (written as if i have to change the station or something) to for the people. you've heard me talk about it before...they let me guest blog there sometimes. i love tom and ryan's show! it's local, it's pertinent and sometimes really stupid people call in. those are the best calls! just to be fair, they get some real smart homies on the phone, too.

paul absolutely hates talk radio. he knows when he drives my car that he'll be changing the station or putting in a cd right after he turns the key. the kids aren't fans either. they often (ok, always) complain "mom! you always have to listen to the news!! we HATE the news!" maybe i just can't stand to listen to "i like to move it, move it" (from madagascar) one more time.

funny. i remember bitching about my dad always watching or listening to news when i was a kid. i just wanted some tunes or to watch something else entirely.

it's 12:21 a.m. coast to coast is on. i am tired as hell, yet wide awake. please, please, please let this insomnia pass sooooon.

OH...and acuna won! they'll be on the live and local stage at the big ass show on october 6! i'll post more details later... thanks for all your votes!

need a job??

if so, i've got just the one for you!!

thanks to my pals over at for the people, i've got a hot job lead for any gals in or around the cache valley area.

i should give a tiny bit of background for those of you who, bless your souls, have never been to cache valley.

we have one sex shop here in town. i am sure if i am wrong, corrections will be issued. this little sex shop is reknowned and very popular. the front of the store has clothing, incense, bongs, jewelry, bumper stickers, etc. the middle of the store has lotions, gels, potions, and then there's the lingerie. camo boy shorts with a matching bustier. a pink sheer babydoll with thong panties. a red feather boa.

then...the revered "back" of the store. toys, dildos, and more!! stuff you never imagined or dreamed of, let alone considered.

it's a bit out of place here in logan. it's across the street from the lds tabernacle and next door to one of the higher-priced restaurants in town. there IS a tattoo/piercing parlor upstairs. in spite of having a local farmer's market, a coffee roasting company, an artisan bread bakery and an entire university community, the persian peacock is a store all it's own!

well, this little ole sex shop is hiring. i am going to answer their questions as if i were actually interviewing for the job. it's posted on craig's list, too...

here's the requirements:
1) Female, 21 yrs. or older CHECK.

2) Must be sexually experienced- I realize this may sound like an odd requirement but we sell sex, no? uh, CHECK.

3) Must be comfortable talking about sex, with a straight face, to people as old as your mother. LMAO. Ok, CHECK.

4) Retail experience a plus. Management experience gets double bonus points. I, uh, have a college degree!

5) Available Monday-Friday 3-9 pm, Sat 10-9. These hours are not set in stone, but scheduling will likely fall within this time frame. Whatever!!

and now...onto the questions..

1) Do you shop at Wal-Mart? Yes/No Why? yes, i do. it's less expensive than other stores and i have a fixed income/budget. i also support local business whenever i can, like when i want a good cup of coffee or a giant purple dildo that vibrates.

2) When was the last time you were in our store? What did you buy? i was in there last september. i bought my boyfriend some gifts. i'd love to discuss them with you in person. one item was from the lotion/gel/potion category, the other was from the back o the store!

3) Have you ever been/lived outside of Cache Valley? Where? i have always lived here, but i've traveled extensively. i am not a mormon, if that's what you are getting at.

4) List three other locally-owned businesses you frequent. Cafe Ibis. The White Owl. Cafe Sabor. Center Street Grille.

5) Favorite Movie of all time? Song? Book? It's hard to just pick one, but here goes: Gladiator (with Russell Crowe) Head Like A Hole by NIN, Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier.

6) How do you feel about Bush? (the one in the white house not your pants) eh. you should be more worried about how i feel about the mayor of Logan, Randy Watts.

7) What is your relationship to coffee? How do you take it? i have a love/hate relationship with coffee. i love it, but it often upsets my stomach. i drink it with 2-4 creamers, no sugar. i love a great cup of coffee in the morning.

8) Method of birth control? Thoughts on condoms? i have no uterus. enough said, i reckon? before that, i had a mirena IUD that i absolutely loved and would recommend to ANYONE. condoms suck, but they are necessary for people who choose not to be monogamous.

In one to two paragraphs, tell us why you're awesome and why we should hire you.
you all know why i am awesome. i'll skip this part...

in a completely UNrelated story, paul and i celebrated our two-year anniversary this weekend...without even noticing it. may 26 was the big day!! two years is a long time...

stay tuned for these upcoming posts from me: "what if..." and "arachnophobia."

xoxo

ever been tagged before?

yeah, well, good for you! this is a first for me, so here goes. i was tagged by mi amiga Karen, a lovely lady whom i have only had the pleasure of meeting once, but i love her. i am supposed to write six weird things about me. i hope i can do it.

1. i absolutely hate to clean. now, i loooove having a clean house, a clean car, clean folded laundry, a clean bathroom, ETC. but the cleaning part sucks, like ten miles of butt. i guess i should clarify by saying that once i get started...i am fine. but starting? shizzle my nizzle i think i would rather pull out my own toenails. leading me to number 2...

2. i am addicted to pedicures. if i could afford it, i would get one every week. turns out they can be kind of expensive and so i limit myself to less than one a month. i splurge in the summer...every 3 weeks. i am obsessed with nice cuticles on my toenails and i can't stand to have any dry, hard or rough patches anywhere on my feet. i shave the hairs on my big toe b/c even tho i am NOT a hairy person at all, i have hairy big toes. probably b/c i shave them. what a vicious, vicious cycle. oh well, i can't stop now. i can't stand to leave my toenails unpainted, either. they always have to look nice. this leads me to the next topic...

3. i am a shoe freak. now, in the years past, i have been able to control myself with this b/c of the kids. i just don't have the money to blow on shoes. but i am always shopping for them, always looking, always surfing sites like zappos, ebay or wherever to look for SHOES. when my son was a tiny baby..he had a pair of size one nikes! hell yeah! he also had some little lugz boots (so did my daughter) and because his feet were sooo fat, i found baby Vans. yeeeeeeeeah. Vans! he has been wearing them ever since he was 9 months old. not the same pair, mind you, but VANS. Jenna has some phat little black n pink Vans right now. Jake is into the Etnies... I can't get enough shoes. Love them, love them, love them.

4. Ok, this one is weird. And I don't do it anymore, but I used to make brown gravy (like from a mix) and eat it like cup a soup. I don't think ANYONE knows this... and I would only eat it when I was alone... Did anyone notice I started using capital letters halfway thru the last number? WTF? Anyway, I would whip up the brown gravy and eat it out of a mug. Don't tell anyone, ok? They might think I am weird.

5. if diet mountain dew was available intravenously, i would probably push around one of those little bags on a tall cart everywhere. i would be permanently plugged into a pepsi product 24-7. think i am kidding? i ain't.

6. i love to waste time watching tv. i am hopelessly addicted to a barrage of shows like the girls next door (I love those trashy bitches), heroes, lost, criminal minds, csi (the las vegas one), survivor, grey's anatomy, shark, ghost whisperer, close to home, desperate housewives, the apprentice, the sopranos, american idol, and the list goes on and on and ON. i also totally love the food network, E!, and HGTV. now, keep in mind that i don't sit on my @$$ and watch all that tv. but if i could, i probably would. let's not forget i am a huge nascar fan and a football fan. some might consider that stuff weird.

please, if you haven't yet, take a moment to read the february recipes on the right-hand column. although this is a shared blogaroo, i am the self-proclaimed recipe moderator. and this month's recipes really highlight some of my best literary work. for those of you who know bridge, al and me personally, you will laugh. for those of you who don't, you may still laugh. and you'll get to know us even a litte bit more...

peace out. leave comments. i love to read what you have to say. xoxo