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12.09.2006

ah...life thru the eyes of a 5-yr-old

there are many things i would pay money to experience for a short while... only if i had the guarantee i could revert to myself after a defined period of time.

i wish i could be 5 again, just to see/feel/experience whatever it is that is going through my daughter's head. she has such a FUNNY little personality and such a great sense of humor. as long as she isn't tired, she knows when you are teasing her and is a great sport about being the butt of the joke. so, because i am a mommy and because i think everything my kids do and say is completely entertaining, i share the following little story.

some of the things she says just KILL me. today we were riding in the car and we drove by a cemetary. i know she has seen one before, but for whatever reason, she shouts out, "Look, Mom -- DEAD PEOPLE!!!" I just laughed at her. what on Earth was she thinking?

i would also like to be a man for like 2 hours. i would go camping, just so i could pee outside with complete ease; i would have sex, for obvious reasons (uh, does that make me gay??? not that there is anything wrong with that...); i would go jogging with boxers on (ha ha! what a mental picture!); i would sit on a leather seat in July to see if the boys would stick to my leg and i would steal a purse from a tough-looking old lady and hope that i get kicked in the boys. i want to see if it REALLY hurts as bad as they say it does.

lastly, i choose to be a bird for a short while. flying has got to be bad ass! ...and i would personally shit on as many of my enemies as i could. if i couldn't find them, i would eat as many diarrhea-causing berries as i could fit into my little bird belly (and still fly) and unload on their car...kind of like the seagulls did with the mormon crickets back in the 1800s (only they ate and yakked). i would eat, fly and poo... then repeat. i would do this until the car was all nasto, then i would sit on a branch and wait for them to come out and see their ride.

i know i need psychiatric help, so comment about something else, ok??

2 Comments:

Blogger Brigitte Ballard said...

no comment... /looks for new friends... hahaha

10:26 PM  
Blogger fri yet said...

you make me laugh! the bird poo visual was just toooo much! thx...

11:31 PM  

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