the importance of doing things in the right order
rant warning... I am going to RANT.
first, a little background. i would include links to the soon-to-be mentioned stories, but newspaper websites, recognizing that newsprint is DYING now charge to read from the archives, so it would be pointless. i will fill you in as best as i can with my ethical journalism background portraying both sides.
here's the gist: college students at Utah State really wish they had more options when it comes to affordable child care for their children so they can go to school.
translation: someone else should pay for it.
my rant: wait...before i get to that, i feel i should preface my rant with some background. some of you may not know my personal history and i don't want to leave you going, "HUH?" so i will do my best to fill in the gaps.
today, in our local newspaper (AKA the ward relief society newsletter) there was a story about how there is now free daycare provided one night a week so parents can "study" and assistance for low-income students to pay for off-campus daycare.
i am glad there is assistance available for those people out there who really need it. but people make choices, ADULT choices to boot...and then they want a hand out...they want someone else to pay for this, that and the other. the sense of entitlement some people have makes me nauseous.
now, onto my rant. when i was 19, i quit college (was too busy partying), got married at 20 and had my son when i was 22 and my daughter when i was 24. to make a long story short, when my marriage showed signs of failure, i knew i had to go back to school to ensure my long-term financial stability. i knew it wouldn't be easy, but i wanted to go back. i knew having my degree would be critical to my future success.
i also was working full-time. i had a job that paid very well for this area. this job had great health insurance and also offered tuition reimbursement. i didn't qualify for ANY government assistance at ALL and initially i wasn't getting any child support. about 50-60% of my weekly income went directly to my day care provider. i went to the state offices and asked if i could apply for day care assistance for JUST the hours i was to be in class. i was told no.
i checked into federal programs for single moms, pell grants, etc. but i made "too much money," by literally, $299 a year. so, i took out student loans. these loans paid for my day care, my books and for the fees and extra classes my tuition reimbursement didn't. and i am paying them back today. every cent. i didn't have options. i didn't have a night where i could go dump my kids off and "study." i bet these people who do this go eat dinner and take in a movie. i studied after work until 3 a.m. I wrote papers right here on this computer while my kids played next to me on the floor. i can't believe i got A's in my classes. i graduated right before my 29th birthday. i was on what i called the 12-year plan. it made my much younger classmates laugh.
the bottom line is this: i got married. i had kids. i made sure i had a job WITH health insurance. i CHOSE to go to school. and i had to pay the price for that choice. why is it that people think they should get married, pump out some kids without having any way to pay for them and then expect society to dole out cash so they can finish up their degree?
i expect i might make some moms out there angry.. whatever. i totally think women should be educated if they choose to be. but don't get pregnant by CHOICE, then cry because your husband works at borders making 8 bucks an hour and you are both going to school and you can't afford to pay your bills. when did that become MY problem?? (no offense to borders employees. it's a great store.) so you'll accept the state subsidized handout, you'll live on medicaid for health insurance (that i subsidize with my taxes), and you'll get Pell grants that you don't have to pay back all to get a degree, then you'll stay home while your husband goes to work.
nothing wrong with staying at home. i wish i could. maybe that is where my bitterness comes in. i worked hard and paid my own way for my degree. WITH kids.
with that all said, i think someone (mom or dad, it doesn't really matter) SHOULD stay home with the kids. kids need that. families need it. it's better for everyone. but i made choices and for now, it isn't in my cards.
i cannot stress enough how important it is to do things in the right order.
thanks for letting me blow off some steam. i will accept donations to pay off my student loan, too. HA HA HA. and i am really not bitter. i am happy. i love my life. i love my $18k piece of paper that says i did it. i love my kids.
and i love you for listening.
xoxo
first, a little background. i would include links to the soon-to-be mentioned stories, but newspaper websites, recognizing that newsprint is DYING now charge to read from the archives, so it would be pointless. i will fill you in as best as i can with my ethical journalism background portraying both sides.
here's the gist: college students at Utah State really wish they had more options when it comes to affordable child care for their children so they can go to school.
translation: someone else should pay for it.
my rant: wait...before i get to that, i feel i should preface my rant with some background. some of you may not know my personal history and i don't want to leave you going, "HUH?" so i will do my best to fill in the gaps.
today, in our local newspaper (AKA the ward relief society newsletter) there was a story about how there is now free daycare provided one night a week so parents can "study" and assistance for low-income students to pay for off-campus daycare.
i am glad there is assistance available for those people out there who really need it. but people make choices, ADULT choices to boot...and then they want a hand out...they want someone else to pay for this, that and the other. the sense of entitlement some people have makes me nauseous.
now, onto my rant. when i was 19, i quit college (was too busy partying), got married at 20 and had my son when i was 22 and my daughter when i was 24. to make a long story short, when my marriage showed signs of failure, i knew i had to go back to school to ensure my long-term financial stability. i knew it wouldn't be easy, but i wanted to go back. i knew having my degree would be critical to my future success.
i also was working full-time. i had a job that paid very well for this area. this job had great health insurance and also offered tuition reimbursement. i didn't qualify for ANY government assistance at ALL and initially i wasn't getting any child support. about 50-60% of my weekly income went directly to my day care provider. i went to the state offices and asked if i could apply for day care assistance for JUST the hours i was to be in class. i was told no.
i checked into federal programs for single moms, pell grants, etc. but i made "too much money," by literally, $299 a year. so, i took out student loans. these loans paid for my day care, my books and for the fees and extra classes my tuition reimbursement didn't. and i am paying them back today. every cent. i didn't have options. i didn't have a night where i could go dump my kids off and "study." i bet these people who do this go eat dinner and take in a movie. i studied after work until 3 a.m. I wrote papers right here on this computer while my kids played next to me on the floor. i can't believe i got A's in my classes. i graduated right before my 29th birthday. i was on what i called the 12-year plan. it made my much younger classmates laugh.
the bottom line is this: i got married. i had kids. i made sure i had a job WITH health insurance. i CHOSE to go to school. and i had to pay the price for that choice. why is it that people think they should get married, pump out some kids without having any way to pay for them and then expect society to dole out cash so they can finish up their degree?
i expect i might make some moms out there angry.. whatever. i totally think women should be educated if they choose to be. but don't get pregnant by CHOICE, then cry because your husband works at borders making 8 bucks an hour and you are both going to school and you can't afford to pay your bills. when did that become MY problem?? (no offense to borders employees. it's a great store.) so you'll accept the state subsidized handout, you'll live on medicaid for health insurance (that i subsidize with my taxes), and you'll get Pell grants that you don't have to pay back all to get a degree, then you'll stay home while your husband goes to work.
nothing wrong with staying at home. i wish i could. maybe that is where my bitterness comes in. i worked hard and paid my own way for my degree. WITH kids.
with that all said, i think someone (mom or dad, it doesn't really matter) SHOULD stay home with the kids. kids need that. families need it. it's better for everyone. but i made choices and for now, it isn't in my cards.
i cannot stress enough how important it is to do things in the right order.
thanks for letting me blow off some steam. i will accept donations to pay off my student loan, too. HA HA HA. and i am really not bitter. i am happy. i love my life. i love my $18k piece of paper that says i did it. i love my kids.
and i love you for listening.
xoxo
eloquently composed by jess at 9:08 PM
3 Comments:
I did pretty much the same thing as you. Only, I had to take out more loans because I had a full scholarship that required long ass hours of rehearsals and performances and couldn't find a job (Or car) to work around it.
I have 400 credits and no fucking degree.
I can completely see why this pisses you off. People who abuse systems bother me to the extreme.
You had to work your ass off and seeing people get by with more would be frustrating.
That said, if they had said that you could have had daycare help, medical help or whatever when you applied, wouldn't you have accepted it?
lor.. you make a good point. i would have accepted help. hell, i applied for it!
sometimes people make choices in ORDER to get the "free" help. like choosing to work a very part time job, or choosing not to work at all b/c they qualify for state assistance.
it is the abuse that riles me. i am in favor of programs to help the less fortunate. but sometimes i think people choose to be less fortunate... or they choose to have kids they can't afford. and then those of us who can must pay that price.
All I can say is AMEN!!! I was in that $299 to much catagory, so I choose to not go to school. Good for you for going and finishing - whatever the financial outcome.
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