FOR REAL...QWEST SUX!!!
guess what i got yesterday???
a package in the mail!!! woooo hoooo! who doesn't love getting mail?
qwest, in all their glory, send me a DSL modem that I NEVER ORDERED!!!!!! OMG!!!
so... i call them up AGAIN to complain. the following is an ACTUAL conversation:
ryan, qwest associate: how can i help you today?
jess, qwest hater: today i received a DSL modem that i never ordered.
r: oh..heh heh. you ordered it.
j: /complete silence. (i'm already pissed... he has no idea what i've been thru already.)
ryan swiftly moves along to account permissions, etc. this includes address verification. turns out he works at the qwest right here in logan, so he is familiar with where i live. bitchin, right?! apparently, he thinks this makes us buds. he moves on...and wouldn't ya just know it...we graduated from the same high school!! i don't tell him that, i just say, "that's nice," with a shut-the-fuck-up-before-i-put-your-nuts-in-
a-vice tone.
j: am i getting charged for this? do i have to pay to return it?
r: no, i'll get this taken off of your account.
j: your company is seriously the worst in services in my book. numero uno. i got stuff i never ordered and then most of the technical staff i have ever dealt with from qwest are really incompetent.
r: well, you should know that when you ordered this service, you didn't order it from qwest.
j: what? what do you mean i didn't order it from qwest?
r: yeah, those types of orders are handled by external third-party contractors.
j: i don't care WHO handles the orders. i was under the assumption i was ordering qwest services from qwest. which means i think qwest sucks. maybe your third parties need better training. as far as i am concerned, i ordered from qwest, and i didn't get what i wanted. i called to remedy that situation and i STILL didn't get what i wanted. now i have a DSL modem that i have to be bothered with to return. i am wondering if i got all these services i didn't order so that some sales rep could meet their quota for the month.
r: i apologize for that. and because they are a third party company, they don't have sales quotas the way qwest reps do.
j: with all due respect, your apology means nothing to me. qwest is a rotten company and i am sorry you have my business.
r: you richmond girls are fiery. my buddy's fiance is from richmond.
j: (live i give a rat's ass WHO is buddy's fiance is) interesting.
r: well, here's a confirmation number for you. you'll need to write this 139 digit number (ok, an exaggeration, but it's effing long) on the label then drop it off at any ups location.
j: i have to take it to ups? they won't come pick it up???!??!?
r: no, you can just take it to that ups store by albertson's.
j: that's just great. thanks.
r: can i help you with anything else?
j: nope, you've done quite enough.
r: thank you for calling qw...
i hung up on him. this company is a freaking joke. they stay in business by charging people for services they never ordered. their sales staff has to meet monthly quotas, or they get put on probation and could be terminated if they don't meet these goals 3 months out of 12. i work in sales and i know it can be a real roller coaster. you either have a stellar month where you just sell your ass off...or you have a month where nothing closes and deals fall through the cracks.
a package in the mail!!! woooo hoooo! who doesn't love getting mail?
qwest, in all their glory, send me a DSL modem that I NEVER ORDERED!!!!!! OMG!!!
so... i call them up AGAIN to complain. the following is an ACTUAL conversation:
ryan, qwest associate: how can i help you today?
jess, qwest hater: today i received a DSL modem that i never ordered.
r: oh..heh heh. you ordered it.
j: /complete silence. (i'm already pissed... he has no idea what i've been thru already.)
ryan swiftly moves along to account permissions, etc. this includes address verification. turns out he works at the qwest right here in logan, so he is familiar with where i live. bitchin, right?! apparently, he thinks this makes us buds. he moves on...and wouldn't ya just know it...we graduated from the same high school!! i don't tell him that, i just say, "that's nice," with a shut-the-fuck-up-before-i-put-your-nuts-in-
a-vice tone.
j: am i getting charged for this? do i have to pay to return it?
r: no, i'll get this taken off of your account.
j: your company is seriously the worst in services in my book. numero uno. i got stuff i never ordered and then most of the technical staff i have ever dealt with from qwest are really incompetent.
r: well, you should know that when you ordered this service, you didn't order it from qwest.
j: what? what do you mean i didn't order it from qwest?
r: yeah, those types of orders are handled by external third-party contractors.
j: i don't care WHO handles the orders. i was under the assumption i was ordering qwest services from qwest. which means i think qwest sucks. maybe your third parties need better training. as far as i am concerned, i ordered from qwest, and i didn't get what i wanted. i called to remedy that situation and i STILL didn't get what i wanted. now i have a DSL modem that i have to be bothered with to return. i am wondering if i got all these services i didn't order so that some sales rep could meet their quota for the month.
r: i apologize for that. and because they are a third party company, they don't have sales quotas the way qwest reps do.
j: with all due respect, your apology means nothing to me. qwest is a rotten company and i am sorry you have my business.
r: you richmond girls are fiery. my buddy's fiance is from richmond.
j: (live i give a rat's ass WHO is buddy's fiance is) interesting.
r: well, here's a confirmation number for you. you'll need to write this 139 digit number (ok, an exaggeration, but it's effing long) on the label then drop it off at any ups location.
j: i have to take it to ups? they won't come pick it up???!??!?
r: no, you can just take it to that ups store by albertson's.
j: that's just great. thanks.
r: can i help you with anything else?
j: nope, you've done quite enough.
r: thank you for calling qw...
i hung up on him. this company is a freaking joke. they stay in business by charging people for services they never ordered. their sales staff has to meet monthly quotas, or they get put on probation and could be terminated if they don't meet these goals 3 months out of 12. i work in sales and i know it can be a real roller coaster. you either have a stellar month where you just sell your ass off...or you have a month where nothing closes and deals fall through the cracks.
eloquently composed by jess at 9:08 PM
5 Comments:
jess, maybe you should box up your new modem and drive it to the new qwest facility in north logan and give it to one of the third party contractors that are hiding in there, isn't that why they bought the building??? there are hundreds of cars hiding in the back parking lot. i call bullshit on that third party contractor thing.
"r: you richmond girls are fiery. my buddy's fiance is from richmond."
I can't believe he said this. That is super professional, no wonder you've had such a great experience.
Fiery still cracks me up! LOL. When you told me this earlier today I couldn't believe it. I STILL cant believe it. LOL.
Jess...you have once again brought a huge smile to my very handsome face!!! I'm laughing with you, not at you, of course.
great. this is the shiz-nit i have to look forward too?
on a different qwest note, i got my first bill from them that was WAY less than i expected. mostly because it was only for my stupido modem and NOT for actual services.
maybe i need to get ahold of the qwest guys in logan. they're much nicer than those meanies from albuquerque.
and j- you ARE fiery! but he has some gumption saying so.
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