To Go Or Not To Go...

is the big question on which i polled my best pallies this weekend after a lengthy conversation with t.

be prepared... for those of you who are faint of heart, or do not take well to topics related to bodily functions, PLEASE STOP READING NOW! I MEAN IT!

Ok, now for the disclaimer.
I take absolutely no responsibility for the feelings/emotions/rage/anger/disgust provoked by this post.

the question is...
do you, on a regular basis, urinate in the shower?

from the conversations i've recently had, stemming from the original t. conversation, this is something that most of us have done at least once, and for various reasons.
however, it seems that for guys, who have the utmost ability to aim at and ensure direct drain stream, it is a most common occurrence.

for women though, this doesn't seem to be the case, and for various reasons. it seems as though women are less likely to urinate in the shower because of the leg factor (ya'll know exactly to what i'm speaking) and possibly the fact that we're the ones who actually clean the shower/tub and so want to keep it as clean as possible from the get go. or maybe we're repressed.

i'm not yet entirely sure. methinks i would have to do a large poll of the voting public within the u.s. to come up with some real numbers. and that opens up a whole new can o' worms.

picture it... your phone rings... you answer it... a girl asks if you're a registered voter... and then proceeds to ask whether or not you use your shower as a toilet, on occasion, or often.

how would you react?

anyway. now that the question has been raised, i'm a curious as the next tom, jess, or bridge as to how the general populace feels about the question. feel free to pipe in, eh.

Why having a homebased business is NOT always a good idea.

My hair is currently pulled up in a knot. Not an attractive one I might add.

I am wearing a tank top and sweats.

I have makeup smeared across my face.

I am drinking coffee.

I just finished running around the block.

My doorbell rang, and it was an established realtor. He needed to ask questions about a neighboring house. Lucky me. Then he notices I have a home based business. Oddly enough, he needs someone with my skill. I look like absolute HELL and he is going to possibly hire me.

Yeah.

***On another note*** I am about to finish cleaning up the shattered glass in my 1/2 bathroom. A light fixture decided to fall off my ceiling and crash everywhere. SCARY. I have a fairly new house and this shouldn't have happened. Whomever designed this type of light should be shot.

The thingamajig that the glass screws onto is also the thingamajig that screws into the base to hold the glass up. Two things that screw??? Ok, that sounded worst that it was. /wink So by screwing in the glass you can actually be unscrewing the whole thing from the ceiling. Um... anyone else think this is a bad idea? This light was HEAVY. Anyways, the possibility for this type of accident is way more probable than I had thought possible.

Now I get to go buy:

• A replacement glass and thingamajig
• Some superglue or a welder (to get rid of this potential)
• A LOT of beer

so i purchased a domain and other random news

It is a super secret.

Secret you say?

Oh yeah... super secret.

Ok... not really. The scary stalkers seem to have removed themselves from our blog, so I will just post it here most likely when it is all up and running.

I am hoping this takes a week.

I realize it could take a year. LOL. Alright, I have better faith in myself than that, but who knows. I am actually now going to change my hosting provider for my business website too. I will actually pay less than I am currently paying, and I get to host our blog as well. Figures.

Oh, and other news... I have some new neighbors. They moved in about a month ago. Well their 13 year old son apparently has girls fighting over him. How do I know this? I found notes written to him by GIRLS! They must have dropped out of his pockets. I am going to scan these in and let you read them for fun. I haven't had that good of a laugh in a long time.

having an Al week

which according to StickEE, is now a statement that can be used to indicate that during the week, everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

now, i'm aware that I am the Al that is being spoke of in this statement and yet I still have Al weeks. this week, is one of those weeks
let's start with the beginning

Monday- started out fabulously. t (from colorado springs) helped make coffee and send me on my merry way before heading home. went to work, day filled with sampling. during said sampling (oh, lo about mid-day), i stepped off the tailgate of the truck and..
HOLY SHIT!!! DID THE CROTCH OF MY PANTS JUST RIP????!!!!
sho nuf! and i'm working with 3 guys (who, btw, were laughing their asses off, as they should be) who give me loads of shit and then hand over the pipe tape so i can take care of the situation. lesson--- purchase boxers and wear them when doing field work

Tuesday- still sampling. forget a very important piece of shipping information on samples. this means that the field lead in the office gets some guff and then, very nicely, reminds me to pull my shit together and not to forget such things

Wednesday- still sampling. leave my work bag in the car while i head up to the office to load up our equipment. WAIT! HOLD THE PHONE! WHERE ARE MY CAR KEYS?! NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! locked my keys in the car, along with the work bag (which has my phone, my with phone, my drivers license, etc). the new guy and i attempt to unlock the door. luckily for me i have AAA, so i sent new guy (also known as fng) to start the day while i waited to be saved by the knight in the white truck
while sampling, get a call from field lead. seems as though i'd effed up something else on tuesday. great effing day, tuesday is. mine are NOT monumental or phenomenal unlike the tuesdays that other people are privy to have.

Today (that's Thursday)- drop my car at the mechanic's (tail lights now fixed) and hop on the bike. put bike on bus and head to office. bus has horrible shocks and coffee spills all over my pants. realize, while in office, that it also spilled all over my white shirt. AWESOME! office day at work. no effing up just data entry and talk radio. set up for a long bike ride home (kind of like the fleetwood mac song "take the long way home"). less than 1/2 way through my ride, back tire is flat, flat, flat. good thing bikers are nice and one stops to pump up the tire. it maintains enough air for me to make the short jaunt to REI to purchase new tube.
good thing guy stopped. and REI was close. i was >15 miles from home. that would have been a long walk.

main lesson for week- pull head out of ass

anywho- if ever YOUR week goes as mine usually do, please feel free to call it an Al week and then tell me about it. i like to know i'm not the only one who has such shitty weeks, every now and again

just so we are clear...

colorado springs and colorado city are NOT the same town.

i never really thought they were, of course, but for some reason, i keep getting the two mixed up.

i've never been to either place.

colorado city is famous because it's known as a polygamist town. ever heard of warren jeffs? this was his home. it's actually IN arizona, not in utah, but it's a border town... about 4400 people live here...

colorado springs, on the other hand, is the second most populous city in colorado. more than 370,000 people live here. it's been ranked as one of the best places to live.

i reckon colorado springs is a nicer place to live than the high desert of colorado city.

fore!!

tonight was the logan river ladies association opening social. i was paired up with two other brand-new gals and we'll play together for the rest of the summer. yay! i didn't see anyone i know except my insurance agent, who is an absolute hoot. i hope i'll get to play with her a few times this year...

i don't have a handicap yet, but since i shot 72 on 9 holes last week, i am sure that puts me in the e flight: effing losers. LOL. to put this in perspective, paul shot a 36..and he plays in the men's a flight.

i never said i was good at this game.

our little kitty had surgery today. she's fixed and declawed. and extremely pissed off. i feel really bad for her and i can't wait till she's feeling better again.

work is killing me. i love it, but damn. i can't remember when i have been so busy and under so much pressure... it's great because it reminds me that i am alive.

kids have soccer tomorrow. wish us good weather and lots of fun!

these are not the droids you're looking for

or are they?

we all know the answer. they ARE the droids you're looking for! when are those damn clones going to clue in on obi-wan's ass-kicking jedi mind trick?
i watch the movie and wonder this to myself (or aloud because no one's here but the gordo gato). then i realize what a geek i am.

i just wanted to point this out for j who mentions her geekiness. we all got it babe. some o' us are just geekier than others.

for example:
i go for a hike last week and we're sitting atop a small mountain (ok, it's not really a mountain, per se, but is the eroded portion of part of a mountain range) discussing something or other and i get asked a question about some piece of plant life in our general vicinity.

i have absolutely no idea what the plant is but i can tell you what minerals are present in the rock (potassium feldspar being the most obvious because it's pink and the crystals are HUGE, in this particular rock. the sandia granite, if your still curious) and what exactly this tells you about how fast the rock cooled as it formed and whether it cooled at depth or near the surface (at depth, if you must know... geez nosy)

stickEE likes to tell me that i'm the only one who considers myself a geek when i talk about rocks and such but i have a sneaky suspicion that she's lying to me to make me feel better about spending the last bulk of my life in a classroom.

really, all i had to do was pick up a subscription to GSAToday or Physics Today and lay them nonchalantly on my end table or otherwise in plain sight and people would flock to my supposed intelligence with fury and vigor.

who knew?

also, this post is absolute nonsense but since i haven't posted in a long while, i'm out of touch and so this is what you get

(you are reaching a sad realization, confirm or deny?
confirm...)

this just in...

geeky i am. officially, that is.

i just got my first-ever bluetooth headset.

now i know why the geeks who own them wear them everywhere. it's just the coolest effing thing EVER. i can make calls with voice activation! the following was a REAL conversation with my phone:

me: /push bluetooth headset button
...cool booping noise here...
bluetooth: say a command.
me: call
bt: say a name or number.
me: bridge
bt: did you say "bridge?"
me: yes
bt: calling... more cool booping noises....

all this withOUT using my phone. without pushing any phone buttons!! it's a festivus miracle!!

latest guilty pleasure: the bachelor. i am not sure which is worse, the fact that i love watching this trainwreck of a show, or that women actually GO on this show and make complete asses of themselves, despite being beautiful and educated. let's not forget the actual bachelor...!! what a lucky dude, making out with, like, 8 or 9 hot ladies, telling them ALL they are "still in the running" and they BUY IT. omg. OMG!!!!!

**edit** the bachelor just ended...and andy had to make his choice. i won't give away the ending (LOL) but these girls made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. "i can't believe he dumped me!!" SOB SOB SOB. truly, truly, great stuff.

that's me. laughing at other's heartbreak. oops...gotta go. i see karma coming around the corner. gotta head it off at the pass...

our cat is in heat

do i really need to say anything else?? i had no idea just how awful this is. we've been meaning to spay and declaw for some time now, but there was really no rush as this cat is 100% indoors. when i called around to get prices, i understood why people don't bother to spay or neuter. it's EXPENSIVE. so...to spay, declaw and give this little kitty her shots will cost us about $200. it's the right thing to do, but this is ridiculous.

so, back to the cat in heat thing. take the time in your life when you were just the horniest ever. now multiply that by 3,746,189. this is how bad this cat wants a man cat in her life. she's constantly meowing. and it's not just meowing...it's absolute caterwauling! (ha...ha caterwauling. i crack myself up.) she rolls all over and writhes on the floor. rubs herself on whatever or whomever is available. walks around with her bum in the air. marches her hind legs on the floor incessantly.

she peed on my bed. why is this cat still alive???!??!?!? this cat is hating life. as long as the last three days have been for me, it must have been 10 times worse for her.

this post sure involves a shit ton of math. sorry bout that...

yesterday, we scoped the neighborhood for an appropriate-looking stud. paul found one, brought him over, and introduced the two lucky cats.

ace hated him. she growled at him the ENTIRE time...i thought it was rather ungrateful behavior, to say the least. what a little bitch. it cured her of the heat for about 3 hours, however.

i called the vet first thing yesterday, to see if we could get her in for "emergency" surgery. HEY...it's an emergency to me. and i am the one who REALLY counts. no dice. the soonest appointment they had is tuesday....so she asks if i'll be dropping off the little horny kitty on monday night or tuesday morning. DUH. what a no brainer. MONDAY NIGHT. i need my sleep. this damn cat howls ALL NIGHT LONG.

pets suck. at least this one does anyway. i KNOW why i put up with it, too. in spite of my bitching, i have a giant soft spot for animals and i do believe in responsible pet ownership. but dammit this shit sucks.

~soccer update~
my kids lost their mid-week game, won again on saturday. i am not sure what kids showed up last wednesday, but i am sure they weren't my usual team. i was glad to have their usual selves (is selves a word?? it is now!!) show up to play on saturday morning.

jake's team continues to suck. they just don't get it. poor jake is out there, trying to play everywhere, and OBVIOUSLY that isn't working. he took a ball to the face VERY hard on saturday...and it just cold-cocked him. i sat calmly on the sideline, as i didn't want to embarrass him by running over all crazy-mom style for nothing...but then he didn't get up...and he didn't get up. so... i bolted up out of my chair crazy-mom style and ran across the field like a lightning bolt. i got over to him, knelt down to see wtf as he sat up...and the blood just poured out of his nose. i wanted to bawl. my baby was hurt!! he got up and walked off the field on his own, while his mom (yeah, that's me!!) caught his blood in her hand. everyone clapped for him and at least 3 people offered me Kleenex as soon as we walked off the field. what a great display of sportsmanship. we got the bleeding to stop and jake ran back over to finish the game, but his coach didn't put him back in.

thank god.

sign in with your google account!

pretty soon, i hope to be able to buy feminine hygiene products in truckstop restrooms with google checkout.

true story. ok, maybe not, since i don't USE those kind of products. since we are talking about them, does anyone else wonder WHY we have to endure advertising for tampax on television? women know ALLLLL about that stuff. it should only be allowed air time during oprah and maybe during regis and kelly. all other times of day are a complete waste of the tampax advertising budget.

i had a real reason to post, but i got sidetracked by television. dang it. maybe tomorrow. probably not.

b/c i am bored...

and no one is online tonight to chat wit. where's my bitches when i need them???

oh well, i stole this from kmp. she knows who she is.

SCATTERGORIES...it's harder than it looks!

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T USE Y0UR NAME for the boy/girl name question.

1. Your Name: jess

2. Famous Music Artist: janis joplin

3. 4-Letter Word: junk

4. Street Name: jawrong way

5. Color: jade green

6. Gifts/presents: jewelry

7. Vehicle: jaguar

8. Things in a Souvenir Shop: junk. HA HA

9. Boy Name: jacob

10. Girl Name: jenna

11. Movie Title: jarhead

12. Alcoholic drink: jungle juice

13. Occupations: jamba juice drink expert

14. Flowers: jasmine

15. Celebrities: jenna jameson, janet jackson

16. Magazine: juggs. i crack myself up. (or out..whatever)

17. US city: Junction, Cache

18. Pro Sports Teams: jacksonville jaguars

19. Something Found in a kitchen: juicers

20. Reason for Being Late: jungle fever?

21. Something You Throw Away: junk. LOL

22. Things You Shout: Jerk! Jackass! Jfuck!

23. Cartoon character: jetsons

24. Author: jung

25. Song: jump, jesus is just alright, jet, juke box hero (you sang that just now, didn't you!!)

April Showers... yeah right!

So it is snowing outside right now. The really wet, cold, big flake type of snow. /shivers

I am not happy.

Jess is not happy.

Both of our kids will NOT be happy... not during their soccer games in a few hours. Soccer in the snow... not my idea of a fun time. Not at all.

It is really cold. REALLY REALLY COLD. I have to stress this.

Can you tell that I am grumpy?

it's stormy here...

and the thunder is absolutely bitchin. i hope it doesn't wake my children.

just thought i'd share. i love a good storm.

and now for something we hope you'll REALLY like...

**edit** i was multi-tasking while i wrote this... i realized that, in re-reading it, that i could have done a much better job organizing my thoughts and expounding a bit in places. oh well, i am not changing it now. it's done. published. finito. i'll save it for a later post.

today i wanna share my two cents on some recent news happenings. i often feel i post too much about pop culture, but that is my secret obsession. also, for several thousand reasons, i don't want to be toooo personal in such a public venue.

i am a libertarian. i am pro choice, but i would never have an abortion. i think marijuana should be legal, but i probably wouldn't smoke it. often. i believe that the things that don imus said, while incredibly stupid, racist and downright idiotic, are protected by our Constitution. they also aren't any stupider than some of the really stupid things jesse jackson and al sharpton have said. i believe in the right to bear arms. but i don't think you should own a machine gun, take your gun to church, or keep loaded weapons in a house with children. i think the democrats who keep preaching about reducing energy costs (like john kerry) should shut their big fat mouths and sell all but ONE of their houses. i believe in global warming, but i am not sure i believe it's 100% attributed to man. mars is warming up, too. and last time we checked, no one lives there. i don't like george bush at all, but i don't want to be president, so i don't complain too loudly. i also absolutely detest nancy pelosi.

most politicians suck.

i believe that most people want to be good, but i believe that everyone lies to save their own ass. or to save someone else's feelings. and i don't believe there is anything wrong with that. i believe that i am a moral, ethical person, even though i don't go to church. i believe the shootings in VA are a tragedy...an eye opener...and i feel very sad for all the families, friends, staff, faculty and students at V Tech.

i'll stop there. a moment of peace for peace.

Update on our blog...

Well I am still trying to get the CSS part of our new blog straightened out. Hard for someone who admits very little knowledge. I do have SOME knowledge, but not much. When I get it figured out I will pass out the new web address.

I will have to be careful.

A friend who has a blog currently has stalkers of the worst kind. They are googling her name and such to find her new blog.

She is smarter than them.

Not only has she not posted her new web address, but she is emailing her faithful readers individually so they can get it.

I might do the same.

So... If you read our blog regularly just email me your email address. Or email J or A. We will get it to you as soon as it is up. This won't be for at least a month. /sigh

Just wanted to give you a head start.

We will continue to post here until that day.

Thank you readers... for all your support!

off da grid

it's been a busy weekend. first, both of my kids played soccer saturday morning. my son scored two goals and kicked so much butt at his game. my daughter scored 4 goals and our team won 18-1. Yeah, that isn't a typo. Our team: 18 goals. Their team: One. My kids rucking FAWK.

then, i drove my kids about 1.5 hours away so they could spend some time with their grandma...my ex-husband's mom. after paul and i dropped them off, we went car shopping (still no purchase...he wants a mazda 6, i want a honda pilot or a yukon/tahoe). then we went to super target, cuz there isn't one in cache valley.

did i miss a memo? apparently yesterday was national idiot day. everywhere we went, we were surrounded.

after we went shopping, we went go-karting, which was so much fun! then we played miniature golf. i lost, of course, and i was totally pissed about it. friday afternoon i went out and played my first round of golf for 2007. my arms and my back are still killing me today. i shot 72 for nine holes. for those of you who don't play golf, 72 is a totally shitty score. paul shot a 36, if that puts it in perspective at all.

for dinner we ate a le nonnne! i finally got paul to roll to a nice restaurant! i had the most delicious spinach ravioli in a butter sage sauce....and tons of ciabatta with pesto. i left very happy.

today i went back to pick up my kids...and i stopped off at ross to shop before i left. i got tons of great new clothes and the most awesome puma shoes i have been wanting for a year now!!

on another note, i came to the realization this weekend that i am addicted to food. i have a problem. i have even considered making myself puke more than once over the last week. the only thing that has saved me is that i hate to puke (NO disrespect to people with eating disorders) AND i think that is just so f*cked up to do that. so. back on a diet and i am joining the gym tomorrow. something has to change.

now...tomorrow, thanks to bridgy's mom, my whole family is going to a jazz game. the kids are soooo excited. i think it's going to be hell. i'm sure i'll keep you posted.

p.s. al and bridge. love you gals. we haven't talked much lately.

gotta go...the sopranos is on.

I need blog help!

I am going to recreate this blog on my own URL.

Help!

I have the hosting part already paid for. Truth is I can add a domain to my hosting that I already pay for. I have a business site and all. Plenty of room.

I am going to purchase my domain.

Thinking of using wordpress to create the template...

Has anyone done this? I really need to figure out how it works. Would I type my entries in wordpress and hit publish? Would it then be posted to my website?

Really, I have no clue here.

/sigh

Today is a slightly better day...

Everyday is different.

Today I feel slightly better. Still numb, but better. Exercising and projects help a bit.

Today's project:

Freezer Jam!

Strawberry freezer jam is the bomb. Not as yummy as raspberry freezer jam, but pretty close. I can't wait until tomorrow to eat some.

Stupid set up time.

Jess... want some?

I don't know what is wrong with me...

I have been having issues.

I know we all have issues. I can hear you thinking this exact thought. Everyone has them. Everyone always will. The past week I just haven't been able to deal with mine.

I have been sick.

I have been tired.

The worst is that I am depressed.

/sigh.

I go through spurts of depression. For a time I can honestly deal with it and it goes away. I never had it growing up, although I believe it runs in my family. The first time it hit was when I had my son. Postpartum depression sucks btw. Thanks for asking.

I have yet to take medication for it, but I will if I have to. I have nothing against medication. I just like to try and work things out without first.

Helps that I have great friends. Really great friends. My poor friends have to listen to me sob away.

This time seem different though. I usually get all weepy, but I honestly have no emotion. I saw a movie that would usually make me just sob, and I barely had a tear. I am tired all the time, but that could be from my allergies. Hmmmm. Doesn't help that we had a few great weeks of warm weather and now it is frigid again. I am really ready for summer. Have I mentioned I hate living in Utah? Maybe I just need a warm vacation. Wendover wasn't warm enough.

I am exercising.
I am not consuming alcohol for a bit.
I am getting sleep.
I am trying to do stuff.

Any other suggestions I can try? I really want to try for a few weeks on my own. Anyways, sorry I got so personal. I just needed to get this out so I can step forward.

i aim to please

when it comes to many things but posting a picture of my gordo gato per request from a reader is easy to do
and doesn't require much effort on my part
so kind reader
here's a pic of my pimped out gato
i'm not sure how he feels about the plant but i decided that i didn't care
if i'm going to feed him
and love him
and generally pay all sorts of attention to him,
he'll deal with it!
why do we get so attached to our animals? after hearing all the fuss about the tainted pet food, i've been thinking that i would be quite a mess if something ever happened to Ruido.
and then i realize that cats live FOREVER, get it FOR-EVER and unlike kids, you can't kick them out after 18 years! meaning i have to deal with this shit for a long, long while. i'm not sure i thought the whole gato adoption through fully. kindof like an impulse purchase
with a life. damnit
stupid feelings
ok. here's the pic.
Al out.

hip hip hooray!

three cheers for the soccer mom! my kids kicked serious tail yesterday in our very first game. i actually felt bad for the other team. our kids: 7. their kids: 0. scoring no goals is suckage and my heart went out to them. my kids showed great spirit too, considering the wind chill yesterday made it about 33 degrees fahrenheit. brrrrsky.

my apologies for the absence. i wonder if anyone else experiences the writer's block that i do after i fail to post for almost a week. it seems like the words flow when i post often and the words clog up in the torso chute when i post rarely.

random randomness from the past 5 days (in no particular order):

12-15 coronas in one sitting leads to extreme drunkeness.

steak and eggs at 2 am with friends is divine.

never drink so much as to miss your boss breakdancing!

blackjack is all about beating the dealer. even if you have to sit on 12.

the utah jazz suck so much ass. up by 20 points in the 3rd, lose by three when the buzzer sounds. lame-os!!

going back to work after a vacation sucks.

i love my kids. they have been very helpful all week and really good sports about everything. they are cute and i love them.

easter dinner kicked so much butt.

sanjaya is still on american idol. W. T. F?!?!??!?!?

i keep watching dancing with the stars in the hopes that heather mills' leg will fall off. hold your hate mail and admit you'd like to see it too!! i know it's wrong, but at least i'll own it.

why am i still watching lost? nothing happens on this show ever.

i knew larry birkhead was the father of anna nicole's baby.

it's good to be back. mwah. xoxo...

it was snowing in colorado springs

yep. you read that correctly. i'm in colorado springs (not to be confused with colorado city), CO and it's snowing. has been all weekend. well, that's not entirely true. yesterday was more of a freezing rain. but we went on a great hike anyway. cold and wet and frozen hair, OH MY!



luckily this morning we're inside watching the snow (except i really want breakfast) from this really great loft that t. (not to be confused with T- female) has. and i'm beginning to wonder how fun the drive back home to albuquerque is going to be.

beee-ridge and jess go to wendover for adult fun and gambling and drinking. i go to colorado springs for the CS Beer Tour, hosted by t.

(note: previous portion of the blog written in colorado springs, CO)

all in all, a fun filled, snow-filled, coffee-filled, beer-filled, food-filled weekend. can't beat that with a stick... or you could but it wouldn't be that fun.

even the drive was mostly nice. excepting that split second when someone almost slid into me. easily forgotten with enough of the aforementioned things.

now, back to reality and my cat. who wasn't as hungry as i thought he would be. you see, he'd gotten into the bag o' cat food and eaten to his little heart's content. one of the many reasons he's a fatty. poor guy. and poor al when he decides he needs to stand on my boobs. 16 lbs is a lot of weight and associated pressure on the breasts. oh well. if only they had a 'navy seals exercise class' for cats! if any of you reading this know of one, you let me know, eh.

weekend of absence

farewell, cruel world!

hello, WENDOVER!!!

i am so so so so so so so sososoosoososooo excited! bridge and i, together with our men, my boss and his wife, and another fabulous couple, are off to glitzy, high class Wendover, NV for the weekend. it's been planned for weeks.

poker. craps. blackjack. unlimited corona with lime.

i can't wait!!!!!!

then on saturday...we are going to the jazz game. i have needed a vacation for a long ass time. and a vacation with friends is even BETTER.

oh...and the ultrasound was all clear. by process of elimination, it would appear that i suffer from ulcers. this really sucks, b/c i have really been enjoying my beer, cigarettes, spicy food and caffeine habit**. damn.

**edit**not necessarily in that order.

sheesh. i feel totally loved...

so i'm reading up on the latest entries in this here blog when i spy the new recipe of the month. hmmmm. what is it? i wonder.
Parmesan cheese... noodles cooked til tender..
why it's lasagna of course. WHAT!!!! /does a double take.
LASAGNA!
what happened to the split pea with curry soup recipe i sent to jess a few weeks ago to be the recipe of the month (this is where i start to feel totally used and taken for granted by the other writers). so, i don't know anything about writing code and i sure don't want to run the risk of effing up our set-up (which i LOVE btw)

but i can't submit a recipe. is it because it's meatless? no, i included instructions for the rest of the world. is it because it's too long? maybe
or maybe jess just really likes to cook italian foods. example. feb- spaghetti, april-lasagna.
see where i'm headed with this.

all i'm saying is that just cuz i'm not witch'all in logan doesn't mean i can't submit a recipe.
/stomps off pouting

zee agony of da feet

i have already declared my obsession with feet. i won't deny it. ever. so quit asking.


i like my feet. i think they are nice. the fourth toe on each foot IS kind of weird...all fat and deformed looking. and my second toe is freakishly long. but i still like my feet. they are also ginormous. about a size 9.5. a 10 in several styles. a size 9 in vans, tho.

yesterday, for the first time, i had foot zoning! it was very awesome and i can't wait to have it done again. simply put, it's a way to restore your system defaults. yes, kind of like resetting factory defaults on your monitor! ;) it's a homeopathic approach to healing and it was very relaxing. it was very strange that my foot zoner could "feel" things in my body. like my lack of a uterus. and she could feel the pain in my stomach in the soles of my feet. she made my throat tickle by rubbing my big toe.

it was very strange. i hope she couldn't see me naked. or read my mind. some of those chapters are NC-17. hell, they are x-rated. there. i said it. anyhow, i digress...

while i am not opposed to taking medication, i would prefer a natural remedy. if natural remedies can't make a difference, then bring on the prescription drugs. let us line the pockets of the pharmaceutical salesman.

i am taking some kick ass prevacid right now.

i have an ultrasound scheduled for my gall bladder on thursday. it's either that...or an ulcer. i'd kinda like to keep ye olde gall bladder around. i might need it, especially if i ever want to eat bacon again.

more spc here. more 3 evil monkeys here.

April Fools!!!

If my son grows up to be a mass murderer... I know why.

This past Sunday was the first of April. I am sure most of you were aware of this. For those of you that didn't know I just informed you.

I went skiing at Brighton with my family.

We had a fun day, but it was long. Brighton is a 2 hour drive for us. Anyways, a fun day with my husband and kids.

Now to the funny part.

My husband and I are MEAN. We decided while making dinner that we would play a trick on our kids. Our poor kids that have NO IDEA it is April Fools. Right after dinner we look at the clock and noticed it was 7:00 p.m. I look at my husband and wink and then announce it is time for bed. My 7 year old son looks at the clock and then at me. Then he states, "not it isn't mom, it is only 7. My bedtime is 8."

I looked right at him calmly and told him that his dad and I decided he wasn't getting enough sleep and that we decided 7:00 would be the new bed time.

I don't think he was pleased.

He ran away from us and started complaining. My husband gets him and takes him to brush his teeth and put on pajamas. My daughter walks upstairs and gets ready.

This is when my son starts crying.

We get them all ready for their story...

By the way, my son is still crying.

Then we informed them... APRIL FOOLS!

My son didn't believe us that it was April Fools. Then he was mad because he didn't get to trick us all day. LOL. Poor kid.

We let them stay up till 8:30. We are not too mean of parents after all.

on feeling like ten miles of camel ass...

something is wrong with me. i don't know what it is, but according to webmd, it could be practically anything. diverticulitis, heartburn, panic attack, colon cancer and my personal favorite: aortic dissection. i have a hunch it's either kidney stones or gall stones.

the first "attack" was friday night. i had a backache, but just ignored it and when to bed. paul got home from work around 4 a.m. and i was in SO much pain. he gave me some medicine and rubbed my back and i went back to sleep. i woke up feeling crappy and my sore back lingered all day saturday. i pass it off on getting old...

saturday night, we sit down to watch "casino royale." sorry bridge, but this is NOT a good james bond movie!!! daniel craig is a FAB bond, FAB, but this movie....eh. not so fab. i can't wait to see more of him in a different bond movie. anyway, i digress. i couldn't really get comfy for the whole movie, and about halfway through the movie, my stomach starts hurting like hell, right? and i think it's heartburn. only it's bad. so i drink some maalox, right? well that didn't even touch it, even though i drank enough maalox to plug up a cow with e coli. or something like that.

anyway. sick.

the pain gets worse and worse until it's so bad i am crying. paul asks me where it hurts (he had surgery for kidney stones last fall) and i tell him and he says he thinks i have kidney stones. the last time i felt pain like this ... i was in labor! i thought i was going to die. he asks me what he can do and i tell him to make it stop. of course, he says he can't...and i start to laugh. i say to him, "now you know what i felt like! watching you roll around in so much pain!" he agreed he felt helpless. he had some prescription painkillers left from his surgery, so he gave me one and i zonked out within 10 minutes. he said we could go to the emergency room if i wanted to, but i didn't. first of all, i don't want to pay that emergency room copay and second i don't like hospitals.

so i wake up this morning feeling all blah. BLAH. my back kills. mostly in the center, but tonight it's settled in under my right shoulder blade. i am afraid this pain is going to return.

i am calling the doctor tomorrow. i don't want to, but i will.

A treatise on tattoos

Ever walk down the street, see someone in the supermarket, catch a glimpse of a tattoo on someone whom or in someplace where you least expect it? Afterwards you find yourself wondering why they chose to put that ink not only on their body but in the place where you see it.

The fact that I have a few tattoos does not exempt me from thinking these things. And, I'm positive others think the same things about my tattoos when they see them.
Meaning? Of course they have meaning. Mine do anyway. At least to me and sometimes I don't feel like revealing that meaning. However, I'd much rather have someone ask me what my tattoo means than if the one on my foot is real. Of course it's real. Either that, or I'm such an awesome artist that I am able to paint it on exactly the same every day.

I saw an interesting tattoo this weekend in a totally unexpected place and of a totally unexpected composition. I've often wondered what a tattoo on the behind looks like and now I know. Not sure I'd ever do it but then again, I've been contemplating a new tattoo but am having trouble deciding where it is I want to put it.
The right foot? The right calf? As an arm band?
It's difficult to hide ink in those spots, though. I guess that's a good reason to put one on your ass. Maybe the other good reason to put ink on your ass is because you're drunk and your buddies are doing it (there t., you made the blog).